Block 2 of the second semester is done. My marks were decent, but now I feel like some of the material we’re being presented isn’t being present well. There’s not much I can do to fix that however, and the sad fact still remains that class attendance is mandatory.
Otherwise, I’ve had more time to reflect on my motivations here and how they undulate. Sometimes I simply study to know, sometimes I study to pass, and sometimes I study because I know the vitality of the information presented to me. In an ideal world my motivations would always favor the latter of the three. It’s just mind numbing to go over concepts several times when you understand something already and their importance isn’t immediately apparent.
It’s the futility of being a student. I want to do things, but I don’t know enough to even begin to practice medicine. If anything, this whole experience makes me miss the rush of achievement lab work can bring when results are good.