In moments of weakness, I often think to myself, I wish I could do ‘X’ or have accomplished ‘X’ by now. Then I snap back to reality, realizing that if I truly wanted these things I would would either (A) already have accomplished them, (B) be working actively to accomplish them, or (C) not really want to accomplish these things.
For instance, I want to be an MD/PhD. No, I am not in such a program, but I am trying to secure a position that will lead me to such a place. If I fail, I will try again, exhausting all feasible options until I reach this goal. If I stop, it is because I did not actually want this. This is how the world works. People arrive at their destinations because they actually want to reach them, not by some wayward happenstance. People don’t get into these programs on a whim. To work on fulfilling projects or be accepted into a place that will let one do such, one must demonstrate that one has the foresight and scope and breadth of knowledge to be trusted in such a position. To do this, one must show it the actions and time-tested record one can show others (a good curriculum vitae)
I know I am whimsical (or as some say, ‘fickle’) about several things, but time will be the test to see how truly I want to persevere at my goals. Will I get an MD? Yes. A PhD? Yes. A muscle up? Yes. In time.
Above, I said exhaust all feasible options. By this, I mean never again having a year like I am having now. Sitting out. Biding my time and working on building my ‘character’ and killing my ego.